Heroes Unlimited Noir

The Heist

Another great morning in Shady Pines began with Bunny Boy eating cereal and watching cartoons when his beloved mom informed him that she had been approved for a business loan and was starting a gift and card shop on Booker Street. A few days later, Bunny Boy was finishing up helping his mom move in to the store just as the sun went down. BB’s mom received a letter that disturbed her greatly, but she wouldn’t tell BB what it said.
Across the street, an Eastern Europan woman wearing fine clothing entered Nina’s shop accompanied by four men dressed in simple Eastern Europan garb. The woman identified herself as a Europan ambassador and that she was looking for the Fox. Nina said she didn’t know where the Fox was. The woman bought one of Nina’s remedy’s with a gold coin (easily worth $100) and asked Nina if she practiced witchcraft, to which Nina replied no. Nina then used Detect Psionics on the woman and discovered that she was a powerful psionic. The woman climbed into a big black car and was driven away.
Meanwhile, Mitchel was wrapping up a day’s business at his veterinary office when a nervous man with a struggling cat approached him. Letting the cat go and showing a complete lack of concern for it, the man (who identified himself as Frank Gil) said that he had heard Mitchel was a man who could get things. He proposed a job to him with a $1 million payoff. Mitchel said he’d think about it and Frank handed him the address for the very upscale Beaumont Arms Hotel and told Mitchel to meet him there at midnight.
A few minutes later, on Booker Street, homeless vet Alex Troy was panhandling and using his general acrobatic skill to get money for food. Frank approached Alex and offered him a cut of the take to be the “muscle” for a heist. Alex agreed. Frank walked two blocks and suddenly ducked into Nina’s store. He was soon followed by a 7’ leg breaker who said his name was Bruno. It was clear pretty quickly that Frank owed Bruno’s employer a gread deal of money. Realizing that Bruno meant Frank great bodily harm, Nina talked the two men into leaving her store before they damaged it. Outside, Alex decided to begin earning his prospective pay and flashed a gun at Bruno to get him to back off. Bruno threatened to remember Alex.
Judging Frank to be a rank amateur who could get him killed, Mitchel cased the hotel at 10 p.m. and decided to pull off the heist at 11 p.m. and beat the rush. While sitting outside the window in his weasel form, Mitchel watched the occupant (unknown to him, the Europan Ambassador) drink the blood from a teenaged girl who didn’t seem to react in any way. Mitchel left to meet the others.
While on patrol, BB heard someone shouting for him specifically, “Help me, Bunny Boy! Help!” Bunny Boy followed the sound and met up with a huge man (Bruno). Bruno informed him that there was going to be a heist going down at the Beaumont Arms at midnight. BB thanked Bruno for the tip and headed for the Beaumont Arms.
Nina, Frank, Troy and Mitchel met up in the lobby of the hotel and discussed what they were going to do. Mitchel revealed what he had seen in the hotel room and while the gypsy born Nina fully believed Mitchel’s story about a vampire, Frank remained skeptical (Troy remained, as usual, nonchalant). Frank tried to keep the group interested in the $1 million in gold.
Finally, the ambassador and her entourage left the hotel, each man in her employ carrying a thick burlap sack. Bunny Boy showed up, causing quite a stir in the lobby, and Frank got rid of him by claiming the ambassador was a murderer who would never be brought to justice for her crimes because she had diplomatic immunity. Though Mitchel’s report lent credibility to the claim, it was clear to everyone but BB that Frank was being an asshole and just trying to get BB out of the picgture. After BB took off in hot pursuit of the ambassador, Nina finally got tired of Frank’s hamhanded manipulation of the group and inflicted pain on him with her Evil Eye.
Guessing the sacks to be filled with the remains of the girl, the group made its way to the ambassador’s room (sans Frank) and broke in. Meanwhile, BB caused the big black car carrying the ambassador to pull over and he openly accused the ambassador of the heinous crime of murder. The ambassador asked BB to look into her eyes and with judicious application of hypnotic suggestion convinced him she was no murderer, but that he should come to her aid if she ever needed him.
Finding the huge trunk at the end of the bed, in which Frank claimed the $1 million in gold lay, the group decided to get it out of the room to open it.
BB accosted Frank in the lobby and accused him of lying, but Frank managed to convince BB that he hadn’t done it on purpose. BB then headed up to the room stealthily and was passed by Mitchel in the hallway. Mitchel went downstairs to rent a room in the Beaumont Arms in which the group could pick the lock of the trunk at leasure. The phone began ringing in the room but no one answered it. Nina and Bunny Boy decided to leave.
While Mitchel was renting a room, two police officer used the elevator to go to the floor of the ambassador’s suite. Meanwhile, Troy hefted the trunk using his considerable strength and carried it to the stairwell. BB and Nina came out into the lobby and the police pleaded with BB to help them raid the room upstairs in case anyone dangerous was in it. BB agree and accidentally let slip that the other group members had been in the room. When asked about them by a detective, BB could only describe Nina as “the flower lady,” Troy as “smell man,” and accidentally described Mitchel with Frank’s features. The detective gave BB 25 cents for an ice cream and went into the ambassador’s room.
The police, matching the BB’s description to Frank, who was still waiting in the lobby, arrested him and took him downtown. Troy and Mitchel opened the trunk in their room and found it to be filled with body parts and flesh. It had become obvious that the ambassador was expecting them and tried to set them up for her murders. Troy took the trunk to the roof and left it there. Troy and Mitchel then decided to spend the night in the room until the heat was off downstairs. Nina went back to her appartment above her shop. Frank went to jail.

  • The ambassador for Eastern Europa stared at her untouched glass of Champaign, which had grown warm in her hand. She smiled to herself and imagined the chaos going on at the Beaumont Arms right now. Her psionic powers had told her that people would be coming for her gold, and she could not overlook an opportunity to make the meddlers pay. By now, the police must have found the theives and their gruesome take. They would rot in prison now or, if they were released on bail, she could pick them off at her leasure.
    “Madam Ambassador, you look ravishing.” The posh English accent came from behind her. The ambassador turned with dramtic flair and shot Lord Windemere a winning smile.
    “Please, you may call me Anastasia, my lord.”
    “Quite, quite. And I’d be most tickled if you’d call me Henry.”
    Anastasia smiled demurely. “Henry it is, then.”
    “Good show, what?” Henry barked, following his asssertion with a gale of unprovoked laughter. His ruddy face flusehd impossibly redder as he did so. “Anastasia, I insist that you allow me to show you what this town has in the way of entertainment.”
    Anastasia raised an eyebrow. “What did you have in mind, Henry? So far, I have found this town quite entertaining already. You’d be hard pressed to open my eyes to new merriment.” With her thick Eastern Europan accent, merriment came out “meereemint.”
    Henry slapped his hip and took a puff off of a robust cigar. With her enhanced senses, the smell was nauseating, but Anastasia didn’t worry about her “meal” coming back up. Her gag reflex had died centuries ago.
    “I have just the ticket,” Henry exclaimed, dropping cigar ash down the front of his red and gold military-style regalia. “There’s this show down in the business district, sort of a dodgy part of town, what? But there’s a magic show there that I hear has to be seen to be believed.”
    “A magic show you say?” said Anastasia with obvious skepticism in her voice. “But there’s no such thing as magic.”
    “Well pish tosh!” bellowed Henry. “I know that and you know that, my dear. But this young masked man, I tell you, he will make a believer out of you!”
    “Indeed,” Anastasia said, idly putting the glass of Champaign to her lips but imbibing none. “And what is this mystic’s name?”
    “That’s the best part,” said Henry, with a childlike glee. “He calls himself the Fox! Good show, what?”
    Anastasia’s smile grew from polite to full and genuine. She put a hand on Henry’s shoulder and looked deep into his eyes. “My dear Henry. I wouldn’t miss this show for all the world.”
The Travels of Felix Faustus Part 2

Felix Faustus slid the rice paper door aside and stepped into a darkened room. In its center was a pillar of artificial light illuminating the pedestal where his prize rested. It was a dagger with a diamond blade.

The thing was curved, a miniature, glittering replica of the sword held by the man who’d given him the job. But for now he waited. He was still counting down in his head. Three. Two. One.

A muffled thump shook the walls, and then white smoke flooded the hall behind him and sweapt into the room before him. Cries of alarm echoed everywhere. He entered the room, snatched the dagger, and disappeared into the smoke.

Several sets of footsteps were coming down the hall, so he reached into his pocket, removed a handful of caltrops, and hurled them forward across the floor. The men went tumbling through them and emerged in a shrieking heap on the other side. Felix leapt over them and continued down the hall.

He exited the building, prepared to dash through the courtyard, take the wide steps two at a time, and vanish into the city. But he stopped when he saw a dark figure standing at the top of the stairs. It was the man he’d met in the alley back in Americus, the one who’d delivered the message. And his long, curved sword was drawn.

“I will take the dagger, Fox,” he said.

“Since when is betrayal good for business?” Felix asked.

“It is nothing personal. Just cutting off loose ends.”

“Cutting, eh? Allow me.”

Felix brushed open his duster and whipped the diamond dagger at the dark man’s head. His oval eyes widened for an instant, and though he deflected the dagger, he did so sluggishly. Another small knife followed the first, burrowing into his hand, and the sword clattered to the ground. Then The Fox was on him, delivering short, quick blows to his head and abdomen.

The dark man fell to his knees—but then looked up, grinning, a snub-nosed revolver in his good hand. Without thinking, Felix kicked the knife and side-stepped as the dark man screamed and his gun went off. Then Felix bent down, wrenched out the knife, and plunged it into the back of the dark man’s neck. There was a scream, a gurgle, and silence.

Felix pulled out his knife, wiped it off on the dead man’s sleeve, and placed it in his pocket. Then he picked up the diamond dagger, and set it in the corpse’s hand. The dark man had already paid, after all.

Finally, he sprinted down the stairs, across the street, and into an alley that lead to the long journey home.

Eclipse Log E-1
Mission Debrief ~2 hours after extraction

Transcript Begins

EPSILON: Look, can we just get this over with? I’m tired. I haven’t had good sack time in like, a week.

VANCE:(condescendingly) You know protocol, Eps. We need to know how the mission went, we need all the pretty little details.

EPSILON: (scowling) I already told you the important parts. Found contact DOA, examined his house, retrieved log book, which you have sitting right-fucking-there.

VANCE: Have you ever met the contact before? On any other missions? Did his death bother you?

EPSILON:(boredly) No. No. No.

VANCE: (sighs) Same as ever, then. What happened next? Don’t leave any little bit out, it’s all very important.

EPSILON: (annoyed) Called back for further instructions, took a walk through the neighborhood, saw a guy keeled over in his own backyard. At the time didn’t think anything of it. Some kinda barbecue, him and his vapid wife and their kids. Ended up tracking the supposed assailant to the edge of the neighborhood. Some tent out in the middle of nothing, and a goddamn grown man in a bunny suit. So I went the other way.

VANCE: Well now. Quite a lot of interest there. Did you have a long conversation with his wife, then? While you stopped?

EPSILON: No. Didn’t stop to chat, I was working.

VANCE: How did you know she was- Nevermind. You said a man in a bunny outfit? Local news says he’s known as ‘Bunny Boy’

EPSILON: Wasn’t any boy. Full grown man, in a stupid costume. Quick as fuck, though. I could barely keep up. Strong, too. Didn’t find that out until later.

VANCE: Did his costume bother you?

EPSILON: What, you think I’m scared of rabbits? I’m just not interested in dealing with any more crazy people than my job demands, okay? Fuck, it’s not like I get paid to be curious.

VANCE: (archly) Quite. Go on.

EPSILON: Well, I confirmed the threat with you, figured that the guy who’d attacked the fella I’d helped up must’ve been this Plague guy. Which meant he was infected, and probably spreading it to his kids. The whole family. Went back to clean house, like you wanted. Found the wife first, in the kitchen. Finished her off, went into the living room. Dad musta been some kinda soldier, military training. Held on a while. Put him down, took the kids out to an ambulance that happened to roll up for some old guy dyin’ of plaguejuice, then went back and blew the house up. No trail, no evidence.

VANCE: But you didn’t kill the children? If the wife was infected, surely they were just as exposed?

EPSILON: (silent)


EPSILON: (silence continues)

VANCE: …Lionel?

EPSILON: I don’t kill kids. End of discussion.

VANCE: (writing on a notepad) …Quite. We fully approved of your measures to ensure the proprietary technology that the escapee was so wantonly spreading wasn’t allowed to fall into the wrong hands. Sacrifices must be made. And, for your knowledge, the children weren’t infected, at all. We got their medical records pulled after the fact. It appears direct contact with Plague himself is the main vector for the spread. It’s likely the wife wasn’t infected either.

EPSILON: (shrugs, coldly) I thought you should know. That guy. The one who did the containment work. He got samples. Of Plague. Blood and shit. I was tracking him, before you called me back in. He might have the know how to reproduce that shit and sell it, or know who could. I figured you’d want me protecting your bottom line. The guy is named… Charlie something.

VANCE: (silent, staring at the notepad) ..Await further instructions, Eclipse Epsilon. Someone else will continue this debriefing. I have an appointment. A pleasure, as always.

End of Transcript

The Case of Mr. Plague

On an unusually sunny day in the picturesque suburb of Shady Pines, a tall nondescript man walked down the sidewalk as people barbecued, mowed, and generally lived a life of blissful obliviousness.
A police officer approached the man, Eclipse Epsilon to his superiors, and asked (indirectly) if EE was a transient. After establishing that EE was there to speak with a resident of Shady Pines named Gary Henshaw, the cop left him alone, coughing as he drove away.
After meeting a lovely lass by the community pool, EE found his contact dead in the community “gym” facedown in a pool of his own blood.
Meanwhile, Bunnyboy was just getting stuck in to his second helping of his mom’s griddle cakes when he heard a scream eminating from a neighbor’s house. Bunnyboy and EE (who had also heard the scream) arrived on the scene almost the same time. A young boy sent BB on a chase down an alleyway after an unknown assailant. EE stayed to help the patriarch of this nuclear family up and gathered that a man had attacked and scratched him, but the father was otherwise unharmed. EE set off in lukewarm pursuit of BB.
BB was the first to encounter the hobo outside the the edge of town. The hobo was quite antisocial, even injuring a rabbit BB sent into Plague’s tent to gather intel. BB and EE left the hobo and continued their separate pursuits (neither having any reason to suspect the hobo was who they were looking for).
EE visited Henshaw’s house, but found little to help figure out what he was in suburbia for. EE contacted his superiors who informed him he was there to track down Mr. Plague, an escaped supersoldier/biological warfare agent who could spread his disease miles in scant days if left unchecked. EE was instructed to contain Plague and anyone he infected by any means necessary. Suspecting that the tent outside of town might be a good place to start his search, EE returned to the canvas dome to find it was now empty.
Over on Booker Street, Nina received a phone call from her Grandma Meg in Ireland. Meg had a prophetic dream in which many people in a suburban neighborhood would die, including the bunny-suited man who had stood by her side during Mr. Chaing’s attempted takeover. After hanging up with her grandma, Nina was visited by a very sickly police officer. She whipped up a homeopathic remedy for him, but wasn’t sure she had gotten the quantities right on her herbal ingredients. She decided to study the symptoms and cross reference some ancient tomes passed down the generations of her family.
BB was still searching for the assailant who scratched the barbecuing father of two when he heard someone else cry out. This time it was an elderly man who appeared to be having a heart attack. BB called an ambulance.
EE began tracking the errant supersoldier Plague, stopping briefly to “sanction” the father and mother who seemed to have become infected earlier. The children, who did not seem to be infected, EE rendered unconcsious and left them with two paramedics who arrived to help the man BB had seen having a heart attack. After stabilizing the heart attack patient, the attending paramedics recognized from physical markers that the man’s heart attack was brought on by some sort of poison or sickness. They called in the CDC to investigate. No sooner had they placed the call and tried to get the kids and old man into the ambulance when a homemade time bomb, which EE had set up to cover his sanctions, detonated.
EE went to the community center, again on the hunt for Plague. When the two tussled, Plague broke through a window and snatched the young swimmer, who recognized him as her missing father. Plague snatched the girl up and made his way down the street. By this time, the emergency services, the CDC and military had arrived. EE took on Plague after BB snatched the girl away and hopped her to safety.
Plague and EE decided to end it and threw down. Just as it seemed EE would succumb to Plague’s viral attacks, a well-placed shot from EE’s pistol ended Plague’s threat. EE allowed himself to be arrested, then he and everyone present was quarantined in the sports field outside the community center. Charlie arrived with his containment device and the denizens of Shady Pines were sealed away for a few hours, giving EE time to recuperate.
Later, Nina arrived with her cure and EE was chosen as the test subject. Though his healing factor actually made EE a poor choice, Nina’s concoction seemed to do the trick. During his guinea pig moment, EE noticed some private military contractors lurking about dressed in navy blue fatigues and white helmets. Most if them had stylized pawns on their shoulder badges, but one had a knight, and even identified himself as Knight. Knight, who made it abundently clear that he recognized EE, tried to pressure the General into allowing his organization to take Plague’s body so they could “investigate and track the responsible party.” The General refused, saying the Army would conduct its own investigation. Later that night, EE was able to destroy Plague’s body through judicious application of caustic chemicals, but not before Charlie obtained blood samples.
The town was quarantined for a further week to ensure Nina’s serum had worked, and EE was able to slip out the moment the quarantine was lifted. Hyperion representatives were waiting outside the whole time, and they quickly spirited EE away to hide him behind a wall of red tape. EE, having seen Charlie take samples, began hunting for the mysterious genius. His leads have led him to Booker Street, where Charlie and a group of vigilantes are rumored to have stopped an agressive racketeering enterprise from setting up there.
Meanwhile, a bunny with red eyes limps around the fields between Shady Pines and San de la Mer.

The Travels of Felix Faustus Part 1

In the moments following the Mr. Chiang incident, Felix Faustus slipped away from the group and made his way toward home. He felt safer cutting through back alleys, using one of many routes known to him but no one else. Or so he thought.

He was walking briskley through the shadows when a tall man in a trenchcoat and fedora stepped out in front of him. The coat was buttoned shut; the hat tilted forward, hiding his face. Felix instinctively leapt to one side, hurling three blades at the mysterious figure. Light flashed on metal and he heard his knives clatter to the pavement.

The trenchcoat, Felix saw, was now open, and a long, curved sword extended from the dark man’s sleeve — the kind of weapon men from Orientis used five hundred years ago. The flying knives hadn’t even chipped it.

Felix faultered slightly, loosening his grip on the automatic pistol that had just sprung into his hand. If this man wanted to attack, he would’ve done it.

“I’ve not traveled halfway across the globe for a fight,” he said through a thick accent. “I came to offer work.”

Fautus blinked, then grinned.

“If you wanted a magic show, comrade,” he said. “You are a little late. But I will tell you what … if you would like to see my renowned disappearing act, by all means, continue brandishing that weapon.”

“I’ve not traveled halfway—”

“Yes!” Felix interrupted, removing a smoke bomb from his pocket. “I heard that part. But you have not heard me, it seems.”

After a moment of silence, the man brushed back his coat and slid the sword into a shiney black scabbard on his hip.

“Thank you,” Faustus said. “Now we can speak as gentlemen.”

“I come to offer work,” the man said. “But not magic. Not exactly. We are in need of … several of your skills, Mr. Faustus.”

At that, the man removed a small envelope and tossed it to the ground at Felix’s feet, who glanced down for less than a second. When he looked up, the man was gone.

Picking up the envelope, he broke the wax dragon seal and read its contents. Then he whistled.

“Work indeed, comrade. I think I will be seeing you again — in Orientis.”

The Battle of Booker Street

Nina the gypsy fortune teller was accosted at her store by three Oriental men in black suits. They not so subtly tried to get protection money out of her, but she used her telekinesis and evil eye powers to send them packing.
At the same time, homeless vet Alex Troy was approached by another of these men, who tried to move home along in the name of cleaning up the street. Troy hit the guy with a warning punch, but the Oriental man did not retreat. Troy then lost his temper and beat the man to death. When Troy emerged from the alleyway he had made his home, he found that many of these Oriental men were trying to extort protection money from the street’s businesses.
At that time, Bunnyboy came hopping along. The Oriental men were not familiar with his reputation, so they decided to take him on in straight melee combat, which resulted in many of them being rendered unconscious, paralyzed or killed.
The Fox, finishing up his popular stage act as Felix Faustus, saw his audience grow by four as the Oriental men entered. When Faustus saw the reaction of the house manager, he knew these guys were bad news. Faustus voluntold the men to assist him with his final trick, in which he bound and chained one of their number and surrounded the other three in a circle of flame as Faustus himself made a subtle exit (much to the appreciation of his public).
Meeting Faustus out back, the stage manager told him that the men were working for a man known only as Mr. Chiang. Chiang’s usual territory was Orientus Town, but the manager suspected he was trying to expand his territory. Faustus decided to go investigate.
Faustus happened upon the raging debacle as Bunnyboy handily defeated his attackers and began returning extorted money to the shopowners. Mr. Chiang surveyed the carnage wrought by Bunnyboy and Nina (whose fight had spilled onto the street) and took it in with calm interest. He also offered everyone tea … multiple times.
Chiang retired to his dilapidated shop, dragging the raving minion who Nina had blinded with the Evil Eye. At that point, a knight in full armor showed up. The group of gathered heroes and freaks made short work of the knight, who turned out to be an empty suit of animated armor. Nina spied Mr. Chiang making puppetmaster motions at the knight, leading her and the others to believe he conjured it, but the knight seemed to be able to act independent of Chiang’s influence.
The group investigated Chiang’s broken down store, but found only three survivors of Bunnyboy’s wrath, high on opium, and the carcass of the blinded minion, dead with acupuncture needles sticking out of him.
When the group left, a sinister neon sign flickered “Mr. Chiang’s” before quickly winking out again.


I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.